How to Talk to Anyone – Connecting Consistently
You want to talk to people. But every time you get the urge… you stop yourself.
You overthink. You pre-disqualify yourself.
You convince yourself they don’t want to talk to you.
And so you stay silent.
Sound familiar?
For years, I thought meeting new people was some special skill only the confident ones had. Some secret sauce I just didn’t have access to.
Turns out, it’s not difficult at all.
In fact, talking to people is shockingly easy…
Once you stop making it so damn hard for yourself.
Why We Make It Harder Than It Is
I used to disqualify myself from conversations before they even started.
Maybe I’d see someone playing a game I used to play.
Maybe they were drinking an Americano, my favourite.
And then, just as I’d get the urge to say something –
My mind would hit me with every reason not to.
❌ They might think I’m weird.
❌ They don’t want to talk to me.
❌ I’ll have nothing to say.
That voice would win. Every time.
Until I stopped listening to it.
What Changed?
Solo travel forced me to start conversations.
And guess what? People responded.
The more I put myself out there, the more I realised something massive:
Conversations don’t happen because you’re "confident."
They happen because you start them.
I stopped pre-disqualifying myself.
I stopped treating people like they were better than me.
And I started talking.
The results?
I can now open up a conversation with anyone, anywhere.
The Power of Connection
Once upon a time, I was eating lunch at one of my favourite restaurants.
I saw this guy walk in, sit down, and… start picking his nose.
So I said:
🗣️ “Digging for gold there, man?”
Possibly a bit crass.
But it got a laugh. And it started something.
He explained his barber didn’t trim his nose hairs, so he was handling it himself.
We moved on. Ate our food. That was that.
Then, as we were both waiting to pay, I asked:
👉 “How was your food?”
What followed blew my mind.
🚀 A 2-hour conversation covering everything from the state of world affairs to neuroplasticity and beyond.
🔥 Real, meaningful connection from one simple comment.
This is the power of human interaction.
It starts small. A remark. A question. A shared moment.
And suddenly, you’re in deep, engaged, fully present in a conversation that matters.
This moment wouldn’t have happened if I was still in my head.
How to Make This Easy for Yourself
Right now, your brain sees socialising as a threat.
But when you develop self-trust and fully accept yourself, the fear fades away.
It’s not magic. It’s not some overnight hack.
It’s a process. A mindset shift.
I know this because I’ve lived it.
A younger part of me (I call him Peter Pan) used to run the show.
He was terrified of exclusion. He feared rejection.
So he stopped me from speaking up.
He convinced me I wouldn’t fit in.
But now? He’s no longer in charge.
I lead. He follows. And together, we connect.
Your Challenge This Week
If you ever get the urge to talk to someone – do it!
Start small. A remark. A question. A compliment.
And let the conversation flow from there.
💡Set a goal: One conversation with a stranger this week.
You’ll be surprised at how far it takes you.
And if you want an easy way to make conversations effortless, I’m sharing my step-by-step FLIP method in next week’s Tuesday post.
FLIP is a simple framework I designed to make conversations flow naturally –without awkwardness, overthinking, or feeling forced.
You won’t want to miss out on that, so make sure you are subscribed.
🚀 If you’re ready to level up your social confidence, join the community below.
See you soon,
Your coach,
Oliver
P.S. The first Comprehensive Tool Guide is dropping this Thursday!
This is HUGE. It will be a deep dive into Sense Check (the first tool in the Mind Mastery Toolbox). It will explain everything on how to consistently quell stress and reclaim your calm with ease using self-awareness.
This is for paid subscribers only though! So, if you want a slice of that extremely delicious mindfulness cake – that would taste like lemon drizzle – join the paid community today for just £7/month or £60/year.