I so much like this article of yours, Oliver. I have come to the same conclusions, and I feel finally safe in myself and my life, not fear-ridden anymore. I know who I am, even as I am always in a state of becoming. There is also this knowing that what I HAVE can be taken from me, what I AM cannot. That knowing requires no outside validation and it is found WITHIN. Am I confident? Sometimes, sometimes not. There are many areas where I am not very confident – computer technicalities, navigating on Substack, car driving. But I am confident in my ability to DEAL with my insecurity, in my never attacking myself if I fail or mess things up, secure in my being my own BFF. I also believe that what you teach (it rings true, you seem to have lived it!) is so important. We all want a more humane world. That requires confident people who are not easily manipulated, who dare to be real. We don't need bravado, we need the courage that comes with daring to to be vulnerable. Then we can help and support each other in taking care of the pain and fear that erodes our confidence. The imposter is a substitute. When you have the REAL thing, it simply falls away.
pleased you enjoyed the article, Writer's Corner (for lack of your name)!
what I HAVE can be taken from me, what I AM cannot. - that is some mythic stuff there. love the way you put it.
you nailed it here, this comment is masterful. thanks for sharing your own story, it seems to me like you have also lived it! real recognises real!
we are all teachers to one another, and a more humane world requires us to step off the hamster wheel and comparison contest and start being more real. most people are fake. not because they want to be fake, but because they feel like its safer.
im happy you took the time to stop by and engage and its lovely to hear your perspective.
Thanks for your generous reply to what I wrote. Yes, we are all teachers to one another, and these little exchanges let us make that more "tangible". What you said about people being "fake" is a sad fact in our culture. I posted an essay, "Masks and the need of protection. And the need to let them go" (June 5). It deals with he same thing. When you meet a mask-wearing person, you meet the mask, not the real person. I am passionate about empowering others, and I use my writing for that. The idea is that when we feel empowered (more safe) then we can show more of ourselves. The more people do that, the more likely we are to get to meet REAL people. And I enjoy meeting REAL people very much. An interesting aspect of faking and mask-wearing as a protection is that it doesn't work. Because the "threat" isn't "out there", it's inside ourselves. The little voice that tells us that we are not good enough. Being my own BFF is what makes me safe from attacks from within. Then I can meet others without a mask. Maria
removing the mask is scary, and in a world that celebrates perfection and aesthetic like a fucking martyr its a confounding place to be for many people.
sure, the threat is inside but id would wager those wearing the mask do so because they are unable to identify the threat and where its coming from.
they feel a fear of being authentic and vulnerable, but assume that it comes from the external world. for someone who has never practiced self-awareness they remain trapped in this loop.
to those wearing masks, the mask is their identity. its them. they dont see a mask, they see themselves.
its only those who have removed the mask that are able to see the mask for what it is.
if you are dreaming, how can you tell the difference between a dream and reality? you can't, right?
same with life!
you are totally right with what you are saying, i love what you share here and am pleased to hear your are your own BFF! as it should be! its the secret to a wholesome existence. because we are good enough, we always were.
From what I can see, you deserve to have in past syndrome for real. I see no evidence that you have any credentials to coach anybody about anything other than perhaps the skill that you may have and that being diving. My advice go dive, go on the water where we can't see or hear you I'm sick of people like you who sell yourselvesFrom what I can see, you deserve to have in past syndrome for real. I see no evidence that you have any credentials to coach anybody about anything other than perhaps the skill that you may have and that being diving. My advice go dive, go on the water where we can't see or hear you. I'm sick of people like you you sell yourselves. There's something that you're not taking peoples money with the hope that they're going to find some relief.
i'm disappointed that someone who claims to have decades of experience in healing and even calls their publication diary of a healer, decided to show up in such a callous manner.
i hope you are able to find peace, clearly you have a lot of healing to work on yourself, considering you are carrying such disdain for strangers on the internet.
it's not about me, it's about you. what is it about people selling themselves - and justly so - in the healing space that bothers you so much?
Certainly. Here’s your edited response with grammar and structure cleaned up, your voice preserved, and your disgust clearly intact:
⸻
I’m sorry, Oliver, that you’re so thin-skinned you can’t get past the insult to your ego long enough to see the intention behind my words.
And there you go again—falling back on your little sayings, just like every other so-called “coach” who’s self-appointed, unqualified, and unequipped to offer real help. These phrases may sound soothing, but they’re recycled woo woo that do nothing for people who are truly suffering.
What you call callous is, in fact, my disgust. Disgust over a landscape full of self-declared coaches, guides, and gurus who have no right to be in the roles they claim. I spent ten years in school. I passed three board exams. I got licensed. I got insured. I continue to practice under real-world scrutiny and accountability. What exactly have you done to earn the right to offer your “wisdom” to the universe?
I’d like to wish you well, but instead I’ll wish you awakening...a willingness to drop the performance, shed the false persona, and return to something you might actually be qualified to do.
no, but in seriousness - your response reeks of bitterness. because if you were a coach worth their salt, you wouldn't be out here throwing shade on me, you would be busy doing your job.
the fact you are here, commenting in this fashion tells me that you are more of a loud-mouthed gatekeeper than a coach.
Gabriel, self-help sheriff of substack is it? Come on fella, lighten up.
this is a classic example of "i did the school, i did the exams, i did this course, i hold this qualification, i have the certificates... and still can't figure it out"
and you know why? because life teaches us what school cannot my friend.
and if you understood that, you wouldn't be disgusted. you would get it.
wisdom is subjective. no doubt you have something worth sharing, as do i. its not about undermining each other but fortifying ourselves.
i feel like your disgust is just projection. its not the landscape that disgusts you, its your inability to be open-minded and accept that there are more paths than the one you took.
plus, the belief that the right to offer wisdom must be 'earned'. that just reveals that you are still under the spell of performance yourself.
so take a step back, breathe. i respect you for sharing your views, albeit in a very abrasive way, but sharing nonetheless.
I so much like this article of yours, Oliver. I have come to the same conclusions, and I feel finally safe in myself and my life, not fear-ridden anymore. I know who I am, even as I am always in a state of becoming. There is also this knowing that what I HAVE can be taken from me, what I AM cannot. That knowing requires no outside validation and it is found WITHIN. Am I confident? Sometimes, sometimes not. There are many areas where I am not very confident – computer technicalities, navigating on Substack, car driving. But I am confident in my ability to DEAL with my insecurity, in my never attacking myself if I fail or mess things up, secure in my being my own BFF. I also believe that what you teach (it rings true, you seem to have lived it!) is so important. We all want a more humane world. That requires confident people who are not easily manipulated, who dare to be real. We don't need bravado, we need the courage that comes with daring to to be vulnerable. Then we can help and support each other in taking care of the pain and fear that erodes our confidence. The imposter is a substitute. When you have the REAL thing, it simply falls away.
pleased you enjoyed the article, Writer's Corner (for lack of your name)!
what I HAVE can be taken from me, what I AM cannot. - that is some mythic stuff there. love the way you put it.
you nailed it here, this comment is masterful. thanks for sharing your own story, it seems to me like you have also lived it! real recognises real!
we are all teachers to one another, and a more humane world requires us to step off the hamster wheel and comparison contest and start being more real. most people are fake. not because they want to be fake, but because they feel like its safer.
im happy you took the time to stop by and engage and its lovely to hear your perspective.
Thanks for your generous reply to what I wrote. Yes, we are all teachers to one another, and these little exchanges let us make that more "tangible". What you said about people being "fake" is a sad fact in our culture. I posted an essay, "Masks and the need of protection. And the need to let them go" (June 5). It deals with he same thing. When you meet a mask-wearing person, you meet the mask, not the real person. I am passionate about empowering others, and I use my writing for that. The idea is that when we feel empowered (more safe) then we can show more of ourselves. The more people do that, the more likely we are to get to meet REAL people. And I enjoy meeting REAL people very much. An interesting aspect of faking and mask-wearing as a protection is that it doesn't work. Because the "threat" isn't "out there", it's inside ourselves. The little voice that tells us that we are not good enough. Being my own BFF is what makes me safe from attacks from within. Then I can meet others without a mask. Maria
well Maria, its a pleasure to have you here.
removing the mask is scary, and in a world that celebrates perfection and aesthetic like a fucking martyr its a confounding place to be for many people.
sure, the threat is inside but id would wager those wearing the mask do so because they are unable to identify the threat and where its coming from.
they feel a fear of being authentic and vulnerable, but assume that it comes from the external world. for someone who has never practiced self-awareness they remain trapped in this loop.
to those wearing masks, the mask is their identity. its them. they dont see a mask, they see themselves.
its only those who have removed the mask that are able to see the mask for what it is.
if you are dreaming, how can you tell the difference between a dream and reality? you can't, right?
same with life!
you are totally right with what you are saying, i love what you share here and am pleased to hear your are your own BFF! as it should be! its the secret to a wholesome existence. because we are good enough, we always were.
"we are good enough, we always were", a manyfold YES to that. Let us be living reminders of that freeing truth.
From what I can see, you deserve to have in past syndrome for real. I see no evidence that you have any credentials to coach anybody about anything other than perhaps the skill that you may have and that being diving. My advice go dive, go on the water where we can't see or hear you I'm sick of people like you who sell yourselvesFrom what I can see, you deserve to have in past syndrome for real. I see no evidence that you have any credentials to coach anybody about anything other than perhaps the skill that you may have and that being diving. My advice go dive, go on the water where we can't see or hear you. I'm sick of people like you you sell yourselves. There's something that you're not taking peoples money with the hope that they're going to find some relief.
ooh, feisty one you are.
i'm disappointed that someone who claims to have decades of experience in healing and even calls their publication diary of a healer, decided to show up in such a callous manner.
i hope you are able to find peace, clearly you have a lot of healing to work on yourself, considering you are carrying such disdain for strangers on the internet.
it's not about me, it's about you. what is it about people selling themselves - and justly so - in the healing space that bothers you so much?
Certainly. Here’s your edited response with grammar and structure cleaned up, your voice preserved, and your disgust clearly intact:
⸻
I’m sorry, Oliver, that you’re so thin-skinned you can’t get past the insult to your ego long enough to see the intention behind my words.
And there you go again—falling back on your little sayings, just like every other so-called “coach” who’s self-appointed, unqualified, and unequipped to offer real help. These phrases may sound soothing, but they’re recycled woo woo that do nothing for people who are truly suffering.
What you call callous is, in fact, my disgust. Disgust over a landscape full of self-declared coaches, guides, and gurus who have no right to be in the roles they claim. I spent ten years in school. I passed three board exams. I got licensed. I got insured. I continue to practice under real-world scrutiny and accountability. What exactly have you done to earn the right to offer your “wisdom” to the universe?
I’d like to wish you well, but instead I’ll wish you awakening...a willingness to drop the performance, shed the false persona, and return to something you might actually be qualified to do.
Goodbye, Oliver.
Goodbye, ChatGPT.
no, but in seriousness - your response reeks of bitterness. because if you were a coach worth their salt, you wouldn't be out here throwing shade on me, you would be busy doing your job.
the fact you are here, commenting in this fashion tells me that you are more of a loud-mouthed gatekeeper than a coach.
Gabriel, self-help sheriff of substack is it? Come on fella, lighten up.
this is a classic example of "i did the school, i did the exams, i did this course, i hold this qualification, i have the certificates... and still can't figure it out"
and you know why? because life teaches us what school cannot my friend.
and if you understood that, you wouldn't be disgusted. you would get it.
wisdom is subjective. no doubt you have something worth sharing, as do i. its not about undermining each other but fortifying ourselves.
i feel like your disgust is just projection. its not the landscape that disgusts you, its your inability to be open-minded and accept that there are more paths than the one you took.
plus, the belief that the right to offer wisdom must be 'earned'. that just reveals that you are still under the spell of performance yourself.
so take a step back, breathe. i respect you for sharing your views, albeit in a very abrasive way, but sharing nonetheless.
then maybe we can find a middle ground here.