Real confidence is the only letter you need.
Transform pain into power through self-awareness.
Here you won’t get self-help BS, fluffy advice or validation.
You will get soul-level truth that will help you build real confidence.
Own your life. Live on your terms.
We are all painted, labeled, shaped, and conditioned. Told who to be. How to think. How to act.
The system thrives on order. And it expects you to be orderly, too.
But what happens when you don’t fit in?
The Last Rebellion.
I never fit in. I tried. I failed. I fought it. It nearly broke me.
Late to everything. Self-destructive. Burned my future before it even started. Full ego.
I isolated myself. And I was a reckless drunk. No really, I was a nightmare.
Like a lost child on Christmas, watching everyone else belong. I was outside, looking in.
Not good enough.
Unworthy.
Broken home. Failed relationships. Addiction. Victimhood. My life built itself into a prison.
I didn’t realise I had built it myself.
Turning Pain Into Power.
Pain isn’t weakness. It’s fuel, if you know how to burn it.
I weaponised mine. I wrote a master’s dissertation in two weeks.
Cycled 100 miles alone, just to prove I could.
Reached the top echelons of every video game I played.
Became an expert on drums.
Picked up hobby after hobby, obsession after obsession.
But I could never fully commit.
I’d get really good at something, then quit. Always one step from greatness.
The end was always bad. No more adrenaline. No more quick wins. No more dopamine.
So I kept chasing. Chasing success. Chasing love. Chasing purpose. Chasing connection.
The root of all this chasing? Unworthiness. Loneliness. A belief that I was missing something.
I was condemned to a life of wandering, seeking, chasing.
The Seeker’s Trap.
Seek, and you’ll find. Keep seeking, and you’ll never stop.
The cycle is the trap.
I spent years thinking there was no way out. It makes me emotional even now, remembering that feeling.
But here’s the truth: There is always a way out.
And as counterintuitive as it seems...
The way out? It was never outside. It was inside. Always.
Let that blow your mind for a second.
What? You’re telling me I have to go inside to get out of the maze? That makes no sense.
That’s why it took me so long to figure out.
Self-awareness is the key to true freedom.
The Realisation That Shattered Me
“All the answers lie within you.”
That one realisation broke my reality.
Everything I believed about myself - who I was, my identity - was an illusion.
A disguise I had put on myself.
If I told myself I was lazy, I became lazy.
If I told myself I was an engineer, I became an engineer.
We label ourselves. We lock ourselves in boxes. We order ourselves, just like the system orders us.
But what if we could rewrite the script?
What if we could observe without judgment, without attachment?
Try this: stop saying “I am unhappy.” Say “I feel unhappiness.”
One stays with you. The other passes.
See yourself less as the main character, and more as the player behind the screen.
Do this, and life changes. Everything changes.
The System Was Never My Enemy
I thought the system rejected me. That it was trying to keep me out.
But I see now that it was never the enemy. It was the training ground.
I clung to it, begged for its approval, fought against it because I thought it had the answers.
I thought the system was the giver.
That’s why I fought so hard against it. Because it hurt me.
So I became anti-system.
Full chaos. I do what I want, when I want. No rules. Full rebellion.
And what did I find? That chaos was just another prison.
The system created me. It forged me.
It was never against me. It was preparing me.
The End Of Seeking.
Until recently, I spent my life searching ravenously for something I could not name.
Something…
I searched across countries, oceans, and mountains. It was never there.
It was inside me all along.
I searched the world for answers. Spent years running, chasing, grasping.
I thought I was lost. Thought I was broken. Thought something was missing.
But this is the truth: I was never lost. Never broken. Never incomplete.
The system didn’t reject me, it built me.
The pain didn’t destroy me, it awakened me.
I didn’t need to seek. I just needed to remember.
And now, I remember everything.
No more running. No more searching.
I am whole. I always was.
And so are you.
Your Turn.
Think about these questions.
Open your journal, let the words flow onto paper.
Ruminate them in your head.
Whatever your preferred method of reflection, spend time with them.
What if you never had to seek again?
What if you’ve had it all along?
What’s the one thing you’ve been chasing that was never outside you?
Read, Listen, Pass It On.
If you enjoyed this week’s post, consider sharing it to help real confidence spread.
As a final word:
Next week we will be tackling a different angle.
Something less ‘personal’ to me and something more practical for you.
I wouldn’t want you to miss out, a little email sacrifice is all it takes.
You will only get 5 emails from me a month. I value your headspace.
And I appreciate you being here.
Speak next Tuesday.
At your side,
Always,
Oliver
P.S. Looking for 1:1 support?
(I’m here to help you navigate the maze.)
You need not do this alone.
As someone who spent over 10 years lost in the maze of addiction, loneliness and the search for ‘something’, inner peace can seem hopeless.
Affirmations? Nope.
Gym? For a while, yeah. Then, nope.
Faking it? Nah. Looks good, feels empty.
Self-help books? “insta-coaches”?
More soulless advice from the ai-generated mountain top?
Honestly, it makes me nauseous too.
But, I got you. I know how it feels when nothing actually works.
So I created something that does.
I didn’t study this. I didn’t learn it in a course.
I lived it. I am proof it works.
Self-journeying.
The act of meeting yourself in the places it hurts most. To reunite the lost parts of yourself that are holding wholeness out of reach.
Real confidence is about showing up 100% authentically, without needing to perform.
It’s about owning your presence.
It’s not about being fearless.
It’s about being terrified and moving forward anyway.
It’s not about faking it.
It’s about never needing to fake it ever again.
It’s not about surviving.
It’s about living in total alignment and thriving.
It’s about turning your pain into power.
So when you're ready to stop running and start walking your true path, I’m here.
Ready to walk with you.
Send me a message on substack.
Or, apply direct to get started with a free, no-strings chat.
Doubt ends where action begins.
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